Interlude 2.4

Content warning: mentions of patricide (without descriptions)

~.~

The room looked like it belonged to a conspiracy theorist. The walls were made of cork and plastered with papers, sticky notes, and thumbtacks connected with strings of different colors. The center of the room was taken up by a large rug and an array of bean bag chairs and cushions. A desk was pushed against the far corner, and sitting at that desk was one Joshua Tenine. Light from the laptop he was hunched over reflected off of the lenses of his glasses.

Lian swallowed. Part of them wanted to walk away and leave Joshua to his work, but they had been putting off this conversation for too long already.

“Joshua?” Lian rapped against the doorframe to get his attention. “Can we talk?”

“We’re talking right now.” Joshua didn’t even look up from the laptop as he spoke.

Lian frowned. “You know what I meant.” They crossed the room and took a seat on the floor next to Joshua, leaning against the desk drawers for support. “How’s Joel handling the move?”

“He’s a little antsy, being cooped up in here with nowhere to go,” Joshua admitted. “He misses school, I think. But between Joel and Auster, I’d say Joel’s handling it better.”

“Yeah, Auster seems a little awkward,” Lian said with a laugh. “I mean, he’s nice, and fun to hang out with, but—”

Joshua slammed the laptop shut. “You’re not here to talk about Auster.”

“I—” Lian bit their lip. “No.” They averted their gaze, twiddling their thumbs as they tried to figure out how best to broach the subject. “Okay, so—in the battle against the shadow clones… how much do you remember after the fire octopus thing?”

“Nothing,” Joshua said through gritted teeth. He looked like he’d just swallowed a lemon—like admitting even that little bit of weakness was too much for his pride.

“Nothing?” Lian asked. “You were completely out the whole time?”

“What do you want me to say, Lian?” Joshua snapped. “That the fire knocked me out, and when I woke up, all the shadow clones were gone? Because that’s what happened! Are you happy now?”

Lian winced. This was already getting off to a bad start.

“I just…” Lian wrung their hands in distress. “Some things happened while you were out.”

“Like what?” Joshua pressed. He turned around in his chair so he was looking directly at Lian. “Just spit it out! You’ve been walking on eggshells around me for the last three days, and I’d like to know why.”

Lian shrank back against the desk, turning away. Joshua’s steely green eyes bored into the back of their head. He really was intimidating when he wanted to be. Lian took a deep breath to settle their nerves—and then they spoke.

“We couldn’t—we weren’t strong enough to beat your clone in a fight,” Lian explained. “We had to… distract your clone—you know, throw him off his game. And…” Lian stared miserably at their clenched fists. “Karyme showed me what she knows about you. It was—I don’t know. I already knew some of those things from the dreams, but there were other things, like your favorite color, or your favorite coffee, or your favorite animal—things I would have liked to learn as I got to know you better.”

Joshua frowned. “So that’s what this is about?” he said slowly. “You’re torn up because you know that my favorite color’s green?”

“No! I mean, yes, that’s part of it, but—it’s what I did with those things.,” Lian wailed. “I-I—” They broke off as they made eye contact with Joshua. “I called you a murderer.” Joshua stiffened.

“I didn’t mean it!” Lian said quickly. “I didn’t—I really don’t think that of you, and I don’t think anyone here does! But we—Juli was going to die, Joshua, and I—”

“Just stop,” Joshua said rigidly. “You did what you had to do. Now move on.”

An uncomfortable silence ensued.

Acrid guilt rose in the back of Lian’s throat. This was their fault, and it was their job to fix it, but how? Lian looked over at Joshua again—at his clenched jaw, his tense muscles, his distant gaze. He seemed ready to spring out of the chair at a moment’s notice.

Lian swallowed. Joshua’s reaction just confirmed their suspicion. The way Shadow Joshua had reacted so viscerally, so intensely, to being called a murderer—that wasn’t unique to the shadow clone. Real Joshua felt that way too.

Even now, he was still burdened by the fact that he’d killed his father.

“Joshua,” Lian said quietly. “What you did back then, with your father—you didn’t mean for it to turn out that way. You were just protecting your brother.”

Joshua’s gaze sharpened. “And that makes it better?” he asked coldly.

“Yeah,” Lian said firmly. “I think it does.”

“Well, great,” Joshua muttered, hugging his knees to his chest. “I’m glad you think so.”

Lian opened their mouth to speak, but reconsidered at the last moment. They didn’t want to leave Joshua here—not when he was so clearly in pain—but it was apparent from his body language that he’d shut Lian out. With a sigh, Lian rose to their feet.

“I’m not going to press the topic with you anymore, because you look like you don’t want to talk about it,” they decided. “But if you need to talk, Joshua, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks,” Joshua ground out. It was clear from his tone that he wasn’t going to take Lian up on that offer any time soon. It was okay if Joshua took his time, though—whenever he was ready, Lian would be waiting. With one last look at Joshua, Lian left the room.

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